Ma’s Canh Chua Recipe: April – December 1975
text of performance
Ma’s Canh Chua* Recipe: April – December 1975
*Canh chua, translated as sour soup, is from the Mekong Delta. It has derivations in many Southeast Asian countries.
Ingredients:
¾ cup of ‘I barely know this man’
½ teaspoon of ‘I barely know his father’
6 cups of ‘I guess we’re all running away together now’
2 tamarind pods – picked from the tallest tree in the middle of a storm
1 pineapple – quartered and sliced (good luck)
2 tomatoes – quartered and sliced (good luck)
Beansprouts – as many as you can get your hands on
1 catfish – avoid the blood swimming downstream, if possible
Protein alternatives:
-
- 1 handful of escargots (i.e. edible snails)
- 1 non-venomous snake (go for the head with a blunt object)
8 cups water – again, avoid the blood
Dash of whichever herbs and spices you can scrounge or barter for:
- Thai basil
- red chili pepper
- garlic
- sugar (get some from a fruit?)
1 deck of cards
Instructions:
- Two weeks before April 17, have a dream. All around you is fire except for a 40-foot statue of Quan Am off in the distance.
- Flee Phnom Penh. When your boyfriend tells you to run away with his family, refuse. That relationship isn’t going to last anyway.
- Be on the run for two weeks. Then, while running through the fields, see your boyfriend and his father chasing after you. No one else in their family is with them.
- For safety reasons, collect ingredients late at night/early in the morning and with a lookout.
- For the tamarind and pineapple, have someone at the base of the tree, ready to catch the fruit as you kick it off.
- Add water to a pot and bring to a boil.
- While water boils, play cards to pass the time.
- Add catfish/escargots/snake to pot.
- Add sugar.
- Smash tamarind to a fine pulp (feel free to use same blunt object used to kill snake).
- As your boyfriend sits there, realize you’ll probably have his children.
- Look over to your boyfriend’s dad, realize he’ll be your father-in-law.
- Say nothing.
- Add tomatoes and cook for 2 minutes, then turn off the heat.
- Toss in bean sprouts, garlic, and Thai
- Quietly enjoy this meal.
- 8 months later, get to the border of Vietnam.
- Wait until the sun rises on January 1st.
- Have your future father-in-law use what little Vietnamese he knows to get you in.
- Hope you can get the ingredients needed to make proper Canh Chua.
- Have a dream you’re walking down a narrow concrete stairway, leading to the outside. At the base is a two-headed snake gazing at you.
- Realize you’re pregnant with your first daughter.