what my almost lover’s husband knows

oh you is beautiful
a man says to me, breathless,
as he walks by.
i sit on a gray stoop
in the gentle hug of this cold
on royal street,
a block away
from the hotel monteleone
after a night of writing poetry
on new year’s eve
at my almost lover’s restaurant.

my almost lover
is married to a man
that makes all the money.
my almost lover is a chef,
never leaves me feeling hungry.

at the restaurant,
my almost lover’s husband
sizes me up
as i clack into my typewriter.

when did you get back from new york?
he asks,
as though we were old friends
just catching up over a cup of chai.

he interviews me & i wonder
what else
my almost lover’s husband knows.

i tell him
that i’m here tonight, working,
just twerkin’ for my birkin,
i say with a smile.

he looks down at my $500 bag
on the floor & asks me:
well, then where is it?
my eyes widen, clacking stops.

then he lowers his head,
closes his eyes, says,
sorry,
that was mean.

my almost lover’s husband
is classy, 50s style,
thin-rimmed tortoise shell glasses,
crisp gray suit, olive skin,
aspen-tanned like cary grant.

i see why
my almost lover loves him:
elegant & sharp
like the kind of scissors
people use only to open envelopes.

my almost lover’s husband
asks me:
how’d you get him
to go to strip karaoke
with you
on christmas night?

i never look up
at my almost lover’s husband,
who is waiting for an answer,
patiently, like one of the faithful
forever perched on their knees.

i can’t tell him
what god & i both know:
all men are the same
& i’m just powerful like that.

later,
when my almost lover’s husband
retires to their bywater townhouse,
i retire
to my almost lover’s restaurant.

he pours me expensive wine, peels
off my dress, slow
& blue sequins spill down
sparkling across the hardwood floor.

my body drips inky like the night
in my almost lover’s arms;
torso bends, metallic & lush,
against a scalloped dark
pink velvet booth;
nipples pointed skyward,
like hollywood spotlights.

& i’ll take him, again
& again
for as long
as my almost lover’s husband
allows.